Here is a practical guide with advice that should help you overcome your shyness and express yourself more freely in a social environment :
- Take small steps to get you out of your shell as stepping too far outside your comfort zone will be overwhelming. Try making small talk with a colleague or speaking to family more at family gatherings.
- Explore your strengths and use them to try new things to help you build your confidence and reduce self-doubt.
- Stop thinking that the spotlight is always on you as people aren’t paying attention to every single word you say or move you make. Relieve some pressure from yourself by asking questions and focusing on learning about someone else.
- Try not to avoid social situations or self-sabotage – be mindful of your self talk during social situations as this can deter you from overcoming your shyness and building social confidence. Avoiding social situations will lead to you feeling isolated and increasing the risk if you experiencing depression.
- Welcome setbacks- setbacks will occur as not all social situations will go the way you want them too. Don’t let one setback affect your ability to work on your social confidence.
- Try to understand your shyness more- try to think about how you act when you are shy, do you avoid eye contact or use closed body language understanding this. Try to also think about why you might be shy for example is it more to do with the way you think/feel about yourself or is it more linked to a past social experience. Understanding why your shy isn’t crucial but it can support you to overcome it and challenge negative self-talk.
- Surround yourself with supportive people who make you feel comfortable and better about yourself, these people might even empower you to step outside your comfort zone in a positive way.
- If you are struggling to overcome shyness or feel you are struggling with social anxiety talking to a therapist can help you to identify its cause, reframe your thoughts, manage physical symptoms of social anxiety. They will also be able to support you to develop strategies to navigate through uncomfortable social situations.
Mindsets to help overcome shyness:
Tackling shyness or social anxiety isn’t about pretending to be something you are not it is more about working towards a mindset and developing qualities that allow you to feel more comfortable in social situations. Examples include:
Social ease – Shy individuals should work towards expressing themselves without overthinking, it is about being able to relax and feel comfortable in social situations.
Self-assuredness- Believing in yourself and the value you bring will allow to engage with others without fear of judgement, this will help you to feel more confident in conversations.
Openness-openness for someone who is shy might be as simple as smiling more or trying to talk more even in awkward situations. Openness relates to being able connect and engage with individuals without holding back.
Assertiveness-Learning assertiveness can support you to build stronger connections and navigate conversations. Assertiveness relates to being able to clearly express your thoughts needs and boundaries.
Presence-This is about being engaged and focused in the present moment via paying attention to body language, making eye contact and staying present during conversations. These are small steps that can support you to feel less discomfort and worry about others perceptions less during social situations.
Authenticity- This is about being your genuine self whilst striving to make connections with others, practicing being unguarded in conversations is key to overcoming shyness.
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